I Can (Not) Do The Thing.

I Can (Not) Do That

Things I wish people understood about disability:

When you ask a disabled person to “just do the thing,” there are usually four possible answers.

A — I can do the thing

Safely. Independently. Predictably.
No adjustments needed.

Example:

“Yes, I can carry the box.
You assumed I can’t because I have a prosthetic leg — but I lift in the gym. I carry my own bag every day.”

Disability does not automatically mean weakness.
Mobility aids are not universal incapacity markers.

If someone says they can do something:

• Offer help once

• If the answer is no, accept it

• Do not argue

• Do not hover

B — I can do the thing if and only if I have adjustments

Not optional extras.
Not “nice to have.”
Required.

Example:

“I can teach in person in one building but not the other — because only one has a ramp.”

The issue is not teaching ability.
The issue is access.

Remove the ramp → remove the ability.
Add the ramp → ability restored.

C — I can do the thing sometimes

Because my condition fluctuates.

This is the category people struggle with most.

Example:

“I walked 500 yards to a meeting yesterday.
I don’t know if I can do it tomorrow.”

This is not inconsistency.
This is not lying.
This is not lack of effort.

It’s how many conditions work:

• chronic pain

• fatigue syndromes

• autoimmune disease

• neurological conditions

• hormonal conditions

• many mental health conditions

Energy and function are not linear.
They are not controllable through willpower.

And here’s the operational reality:

If a task must be completed at a fixed time, without fail,
then C must be treated like D.

Not because the person never can do it.
But because unpredictability creates risk.

The solution is not pressure.
The solution is redundancy, flexibility, and system design.

D — I cannot do the thing

Not with adjustments.
Not on a good day.
Not ever.

Example:

“I cannot climb a flight of stairs. Not ever.”

This is not defeatism.
This is not a lack of trying.
This is not something a motivational speech will fix.

It is a physical limit.

When someone tells you this, the respectful response is not:
“But other people with your condition…”

The respectful response is:
“Okay. So how do we make this work?”

Two clarifications people need to hear

1. Same diagnosis ≠ same ability

If two people have the same condition, their abilities may differ completely.

Ability depends on the individual, not on the label.

2. Ability depends on the task

The same person can be:

• A for one task

• B for another

• C for a third

• D for a fourth

Disability is not a single on/off switch.
It is a profile.

What actually hurts

What hurts is not the limitation.

It’s being:

• disbelieved

• infantilised

• treated as permanently incapable

• treated as permanently capable

• accused of inconsistency

• expected to perform like an A when you are a C

Most of the tension around disability isn’t about bodies.

It’s about expectations.